I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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