She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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