in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
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