Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
