What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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