Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
