I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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