Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
