Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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