i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
