Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so let's talk penis.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
