You made me cry and you don't even care
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
