so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Randomize
