It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
