I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
