Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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