I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
