Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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