Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
