the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
