This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
