dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
