he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
