FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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