That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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