things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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