I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
