So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
