the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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