a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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