There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
