Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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