last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
