The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
