is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Randomize
