better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
