Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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