You're a womanizer and a bitch.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
