I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
