someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
