is your mom at the bar?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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