you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
