well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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