I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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