She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
