the new term for farting is butt boxing.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
