I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
