It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
