Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
