her vagine was all disorganized.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
