I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
